do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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