So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
