Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Randomize
