Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
