Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
