I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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