everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Everything about him screamed your future.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
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