from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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