1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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