I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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