Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
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