I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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