I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
