I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize
