Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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