I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
