Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
