I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
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