You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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