My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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