I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Randomize
