I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
