its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
