I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
