If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Randomize
