apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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