Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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