Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
