I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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