so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
