we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I need a beard to bite.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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