Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
