My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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