I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
