names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
