It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
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