Dual....:-)
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
