There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Watching her eat just hurts me
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Randomize
