How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
