he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
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