So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
