Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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