I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
