They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize
