whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
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