im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Come see our sink grown plant.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
