that's an acceptable place to lick
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
