how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
