okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
