Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Randomize
