let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
