I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
