Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Randomize
