i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
NoShamevember. You game?
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize
