i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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